SAG HARBOR, NY — Local winemaker Daniel Meeks is reeling after his two children, aged 6 and 8, flat-out refused to dress up as grapes for Halloween—a costume idea he described as “frigging hilarious.”
Sources confirm Meeks spent three hours hot-gluing purple balloons to a green hoodie before his eldest declared, “I hate your wine! It makes your breath smell like dead animals!”
The eight-year-old then stomped off and told his mother about what his dad was doing. Meeks’ vineyard manager, who was being forced to help with the costuem, reportedly backed the kids, citing “exhaustion from harvest and wanting to be with my own family.”
“Well, this harvest AIN’T over until these grapes are glued on this hoody and THAT kid,” he shouted, pointing menacingly,” IS WEARING IT.”
After a private conversation with his wife, who was appauled by his behavior, Meeks meekly told a report for The Crush “I thought if my kids were dressed as grapes that would be so funny. Grapes are the reason I own a Tesla.”
The children will instead go as Taylor Swift and a KPop Demon Hunter. Locals fear the incident could damage Meeks reputation ahead of the annual Wine Trail Trick-or-Treat. “If his kids won’t even wear grapes,” said one rival vintner, “what does that say about his fruit quality?”
