Cristaldi Seeks Nobel Prize in Wine

Cristaldi & Co

World-renowned critic Jonathan Cristaldi DM’d the Nobel Peace Prize Committee on Instagram over the 2025 Labor Day weekend, nominating himself for “heroic service” in California wine tasting.

As of the present day, whatever the day, the committee has not replied.

Still, Cristaldi is undeterred: “You try tasting 40 Napa Cabs in four hours at Mustards while mocking 9-to-5ers and checking stock trades. That’s real labor.”

Cristaldi plans to appeal during an unspecified future Labor Day. Until then, he’ll continue the arduous labor of reviewing thousands of wines each year, praying he still has teeth by age 50.  

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